A Meal Fit for a King
by Lord of Altair
Summary: Bahamut Lagoon x Twilight This is why you should never piss off a holy dragon or his devoted followers. Other Monster, Vore , brief scat.


A Meal Fit for a King

The Twilight series and its characters are a trademark of Stephenie Meyer (YEECH!). Bahamut Lagoon is a trademark of Square Enix and is far better than Twilight. I'm not making a profit off of this, nor do I own any of the characters.

It was a typical rainy day in Washington state. Jacob was wandering around grumbling and groveling over how Bella chose Edward over him. To add injury to the insult, Bella invited Jacob to the wedding. Most people with a brain in their head wondered what everyone saw in Bella. She's boring, selfish, vain, shallow, whiny and just plain idiotic. Edward wasn't much better either. The reason why Edward was a virgin for at least a century was because the women who dated him grew a brain and saw what a stuck up bratty jerk he was and left him.

Jacob felt that he wasn't wanted around anymore. It's not like he had that many plans anyways. Since Jacob didn't have any plans that didn't involve Bella, he decided to go to a museum to kill some time. His loneliness was starting to eat away at him. All those ancient paintings of beautiful naked and topless women were started to drive him mad. Jacob yearns so bad to get some hot nooky and couldn't get it from Bella. It was like he had a hole in his heart over Bella.

But as Jacob left the painting gallery, he found a crystal ball that was very alluring and pristine. Jacob wanted a closer look at it, so he walks over to the display case and puts his hands over it. Then suddenly, as he puts his hands over the crystal ball, a strange portal opened up in front of him. Jacob tried to run, but a huge hand grabbed him and started to drag him in. He kicked and wriggled, but nothing was working, He was pulled into the portal and into another world, a world so different from what he was used to.

Jacob landed on the stone ground with a huge painful thud. He gave out a yelp. Jacob wondered where he was. He got up, cleaned himself off and looked around. He didn't recognize this place. "Where am I? Why is the sky a dark purple shade?"

As he looks around, he saw worlds floating in mid air. It was like nothing he's ever seen before. "What the...? The lands are floating in mid air? Odd..."

Jacob started to search around his new surroundings and saw a huge palace right in front of him. "I wonder if the women in this world are hotter than those dumb blondes I run into in Forks."

But Jacob had to be careful, because the locals in this world might not be friendly towards his kind. As he sneaks into the palace, he saw some anthropomorphic dragon people and other monsters inside. Jacob's stomach started to knot up as he came across these intimidating creatures. So he had to be stealthy and would try everything he could not to get caught by these dragon people.

As Jacob kept watching the dragon people go about their business, he saw some beautiful women appear. He saw a young blonde woman who was dressed up in a silver dress and some fine valuable jewelry. The other women with her looked similar to her and a thing they all share in common is that they all have black horns nestled in their hair. It was obvious they were too dragon people.

"I don't care if a lot of these girls are blondes, they're the most beautiful things I have ever seen." Jacob thought to himself as he was watching these girls. "They look even prettier than Bella."

Then,a little dragonite girl huddled up around the bejeweled dragon woman. It was pretty obvious that the bejeweled woman was the little girl's mother, since the little girl bore a strong resemblance to the woman.

"Mommy Mommy! Would you want to play with me?" The little girl asked sweetly.

"Okay Ellis. What do you want to play?" The mother asked.

"I want to play ping pong." Ellis cheered.

"Yeah! Ping pong! Ping pong!"

Okay Ellis, I'll play ping pong with you." the mother said, smiling. "Just remember, don't be too rambunctious. Your father isn't feeling too good right now."

"Okay Mommy, I won't be rambunction, I promise." Ellis replied as she and her mother heads downstairs to play ping pong. The female dragonites obviously didn't know they were being watched by Jacob. "Aw man, the hot woman is married. I bet her husband is a big pretty boy pansy like Edward Cullen. Ah well, at least her daughter might grow up into a beautiful woman."

Jacob secretly follows the mother and daughter down the stairs without making a peep. He watched the females play ping pong for quite a while. However, Jacob couldn't take his eyes off the little dragonite girl. "I imprint on Ellis? Decisions...decisions...decisions."

After watching the family for a while, the mother suddenly felt nature calling her. "I'll be right back Ellis. Just have to use the restroom."

"Okay Mommy, I'll wait here." Ellis replied as her mother left the room and headed down to the restrooms.

"Now's my chance!" Jacob whispered to himself as he heads into the game room. "Uh...hello little girl! I'm Jacob Black!"

"What are you mister?" Ellis act oh so sweetly. "Are you a human?"

"No...I am a ped...um...I mean a shapeshifter." Jacob replied nervously. "Whew, that was close."

"Well, Mommy says I shouldn't talk to strangers that sneak around without us knowing about it."

"But...But..."

"I don't know you, so I should be ignoring you."

"Hey, I want you to come with me." Jacob said as he eyes Ellis with a huge smile on his face. "If you come with me, I'll give you some candy and nice posh toys for you to play with."

Ellis shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't leave Mommy and Daddy."

Jacob grabs Panna by the arm and holds onto to her arm rather tightly. "Please! Come with me!"

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Ellis screeched at the top of her lungs as she struggled to get away from Jacob.

"But won't you at least let me imprint on you little girl?" Jacob asked seductively. "I'm sure you'll be just as lovely as your mother."

Right there, Ellis kicked Jacob in the nuts, making the shapeshifter scream and cry in pain. "Leave me alone!"

"NOOOO! Wait!" Jacob cried out in pain as Ellis ran off to find her mother. As the little girl left the room, Jacob started to transform into his wolf form and pick up their scent.

"Ah, I feel so much better." the mother sighed as she got out of the restroom. As she got out, she saw Ellis running up to her screaming and crying.

"Mommy Mommy!" Ellis cried out as she started to cling to their mother. "A big scary shapeshifter named Jacob Black snuck into the palace and said he wanted to imprint on the way Mommy, what is imprinting?"

"Oh my god..." The mother said in horror as she heard that dreaded word. "I think you'll understand what imprinting is when you get older..."

Then, down the corridors, a huge wolf started to run up to the dragonite females. "AAAAAAACK! A werewolf!"

The mother ran up to the werewolf and drop kicked him. "Bad wolfy! Bad boy!"

Just after she drop kicked the werewolf, he turned back into his human form. "That's not a werewolf! It's a pedowolf!"

"Pedo what?" Jacob asked as he tried

"Jacob!" The mother and daughter screamed as they ganged up on the pedowolf and beat the snot out of him. The dragonites were pretty strong when they ganged up on an intruder.

The mother grabbed Jacob by the hair and wore a rather evil looking smile on her face. "So the pedowolf is named Jacob. Ah ha ha ha! Wait until I introduce you to my beloved Lord Alexander."

"Will your hubby take me back home?" Jacob pled, obviously being terrifyed by the mother and her children. "Please! Take me back to Earth! I don't like it here!"

"Hmmm...we'll let Alexander decide your fate." The mother cackled as she and her daughter dragged Jacob with them by force.

"Is your husband a handsome rich guy?" Jacob asked nervously as he was being dragged by the dragonite family to Alexander's chambers.

"I'll let you decide for yourself."

"Owww, my heads..." Alexander whimpered to himself as all five of his heads had really bad headaches. "I'm really having a crappy day!"

"Daddy Daddy!" a girl's voice screeched out. Alexander knew that panicked sounding voice to be the voice of his beloved daughter, Ellis. "Mommy caught an intruder."

"Crap." Jacob muttered to himself nervously as he saw Alexander laying down in his chamber. The holy dragon was none too please with the little man.

"What did this intruder try to do Illayria?" Alexander asks as he saw the dragonite woman drag in Jacob by force.

"This intruder is a pedowolf." Illayria replied in anger. "He was stalking us and knew about me being married to you, so he tried to imprint on our baby girl."

"Let me explain..." Jacob pled.

"Enough!" Alexander roared as he grabbed Jacob with his tails and puts a tight grip on him.

"I want to go home." Jacob whined. "Please, I don't like this world. If you offer me your daughter to imprint on..."

"NO!" Alexander cries out. "I won't send you back to where you came from you wretched pedowolf."

"You big five headed bully. You won't ..."

"ENOUGH!" Alexander shouted as he got ready to cast randomizer on Jacob. As he finally casts randomizer, Jacob was turned into a helpless rabbit.

"Don't let Jacob get away Daddy!" Ellis shouted as she tried to catch the rabbit.

Illayria caught Jacob and held him up to one of Alexander's heads. "Are you hungry dear?"

"Now that I think about it, yes, I am hungry." Alexander said with a bunch of huge smiles on his faces.

"Okay, eat up darling!" Illayria cooed as she gives Jacob to Alexander. The huge holy dragon didn't hesitate to eat the rabbit up with his silver head. He basically inhaled Jacob and swallowed him whole, fur and all.

"Do you feel a bit better Daddy?" Ellis asked.

"Ah yes, I do." Alexander replied as he sighed in relief. "If you find any more of those pedowolfs, bring them to me."

Inside the holy dragon's stomach, Jacob Black the pedowolf was being slowly and painfully digested after being eaten by the holy dragon king. As Jacob was being digested, Alexander felt his headache melting away. "Ah yes, I feel so much better. Thank you again guys."

"You welcome Daddy." Panna said as everyone gathered around Alexander and cuddled up to him.

There, Jacob Black was never seen or heard from again. He was nothing more than a pile of poo being flushed down the toilets of Altair. As for Bella and Edward, they'll end up getting their just desserts into another world after they trespassed on the Skeksis lair, so they could spend their honeymoon doing some headboard smashing and battering while the Skeksis were away. But that is another story, and shall be told at another time.

Fin


End file.
